There is a law in psychology that if you form a picture in your mind of what you would like to be, and you keep and hold that picture there long enough, you will soon become exactly as you have been thinking. William James
I have a small board in my kitchen that says ‘thoughts become things, pick good ones.’ It’s been there for many years, and I often forget it’s there until one of my children tap it if I’m moaning about having a ‘fat’ day!
It continues to fascinate me how everything in our lives is linked to how we think and what we say to ourselves. As women, we do have a tendency to pile the pressure on. It’s common for us to run a business, have children, support a partner, and be a sounding board for our family and friends. We can have so many plates juggling at any given time that we often begin to doubt ourselves and our abilities.
Remaining in a positive frame of mind is important to not only our physical well-being but also our mental health. ‘I believe in myself!’ is a marvellous affirmation to repeat when you are feeling overwhelmed with managing business goals, family, and lifestyle commitments.
The thing I love most about affirmations is how powerful they are, and how repeating such a positive statement over and over can override your negative subconscious mind straight away. It’s an instant fix for your mind, body, and soul, and for your attitude.
Confidence in business is something we all desire. That can be in the day to day running of your business, or elements of it such as giving presentations, facilitating workshops, and planning marketing strategies, but if we believe that we aren’t good enough, competitive enough, or confident enough, then our mind accepts it and our body language reflects this.
Changing your mindset, altering your thoughts, and feeling better about yourself can change your life in wonderful ways that you probably haven’t considered. You may smile more and project a calm and professional personality which will attract the right kind of client. You become more approachable which makes you a great boss to work for and enables your employees to give you one-hundred-per-cent. Business dealings run far smoother when you develop that clear and consistent positive mindset. The confident self-image you develop by accepting that you are capable of anything and everything helps you in so many areas of your life.
Positive affirmations are a marvellous personal development tool, unfortunately, years of self-sabotage and believing our inadequacies can mean the affirmations aren’t enough to change our beliefs. How many of you have at one time or another said ‘I’m no good at...’ Or ‘I’m not good enough to…’
What, therefore, can we do to change these beliefs and in turn change our lives?
Stop comparing yourself to others.
How many times have you followed someone on Facebook and felt a pang of jealousy that they appear to be doing better than you? How does it make you feel? Why do you believe they are better? Feeling worthless has a negative impact on our confidence and abilities. We are unable to push ourselves or focus on our dreams because we are holding onto this false belief that we aren’t good enough. Why bother setting new business goals when they’ll only fail, right? Wrong! Change your beliefs and your life will change – you are not only good enough, but you have the potential to be a leader in your field. Change that negative mindset. Tap into your unique abilities. You can be, do, or have anything you want. The only person stopping you is you.
Think about your greatest achievements. What have you done that you are proud of? How do your clients talk about you or your products? Re-read any reviews, or testimonials from your customers. All of this is just a tiny slice of your success – build on that for your future.
Be kind to yourself.
As I mentioned earlier, thoughts become things, and if you think you will fail then, you’ll believe this to be true and manifest it into your life as a reality. Changing your thought patterns to incorporate affirmations, and positive self-talk is the single most important technique in your personal development toolbox.
Being kind to yourself doesn’t just incorporate getting your nails done, or enjoying a relaxing massage, it means using kind words when talking to yourself, or about yourself. It takes practise but try this exercise:
Stand in front of a mirror and look yourself in the eye. Smile and tell yourself exactly what you want to hear and believe. ‘Hello good looking!’, ‘you look healthy today,’, or ‘I love that colour on you.’
Grab yourself a make-believe mentor.
Think about the people/person you admire the most. Perhaps it’s a friend or colleague, or maybe you respect a particular celebrity for their positivity and influence. Why do you like them? What qualities do they possess that you admire?
Piece together an ideal mentor from all the plus points of the people you respect. For me, I’d have Oprah’s compassion, Meryl Streep’s strength, and my friend’s confidence. Step into their shoes and become that compassionate, strong and confident person.
I want to leave you with one final exercise to try. As we’ve discussed in this post, our thoughts and beliefs shape how we act (confidence), feel (focused), and look (professional). Thoughts become things! I want you to jot down the themes/topics that you think about the most in your life and how these thoughts are influencing your actions and emotions.
What are you doing to jeopardise your well-being?
What are your strengths?
How can you change your beliefs about a specific topic?
Who influences your thoughts?
What do you like about yourself?
What don’t you like about yourself? How can you change the way you feel about this?
Don’t feed the negativity, instead, change your viewpoint and think positive thoughts – it really will change your life.